11. Nobody Wants to Talk About This. Do You?

Tools needed: FABSHEET-GIFTS or notebook paper, pencil/pen.

Nobody wants to talk about this. But everybody likes to talk about their strengths. Their wins. Their achievements. Who likes to talk their weaknesses? Their losses? Not many. If they don't they're missing out on rocket fuel for their life!

Hi, I'm Lisa Barry, a radio DJ who's been in pursuit of a fabulous life for 20 years and I'm here to help you get unstuck from an average life and give you the tools and secrets to create a fabulous one.

I'll be the first one to admit, it's not easy to admit my shortcomings. In fact, it's even worse than not admitting them, sometimes we try to hide them, or excuse them, or point out the weaknesses in others as a diversionary tactic.

Do you remember taking assessment tests years ago? I won't speak for you but from the way I answered questions, you'd have thought I was great at everything. Was I punctual? I answered yes! Never mind that I was late a lot and every time it happened I had a different excuse! I was too insecure or not self-aware to admit I had any areas of growth. That's totally normal for an 18 year-old. But now, you're more comfortable in your own skin now and should be able to admit when something like punctuality isn't among your strengths. I bring that up because when it comes to taking any personality inventory test, you've got to be honest or it can mess up the whole thing. It's ok to be bad at something. What's worse is if you end up in a job that requires a trait that's a weakness for you. That will suck the life right out of you so it's in your best interest to be honest in your assessment.

Let me offer some compassion and perspective here. It's completely normal to not want to broadcast your weaknesses. But if we continually avoid them, or excuse them, they prevent us from growing. No one is perfect. Everyone has some flaws they're not talking about. I'm not suggesting you shout your weaknesses from the rooftops but bringing them out in the open in your own mind is super healthy. Here's why. We aren't meant to be islands of self-sufficiency! We were created to be a puzzle piece that takes up one very important space in a beautiful picture. Having a weakness gives someone else an opportunity to be strong for you and help you. And your strength does the same for their weakness. One reason why you lift may not be fabulous is because you're not allowing others to help you. Great news...they're supposed to!

So for this exercise, even though it might be somewhat uncomfortable, I'd like you to list some of your weaknesses. But here's the rule. You have to be kind to yourself. Be compassionate with yourself. Don't ever clobber yourself for having weaknesses. Let's merely acknowledge them, possibly trying to improve them, but ultimately realizing they are an integral part of who we are and the fact that we're a part of a bigger community where each one has something to offer and each one has a need.

In the same way you listed your gifts, list your weaknesses in sentences rather than one word bullets. Here's an example:

If your weakness is disorganization. Then you might write something like, "I want to have an organized home but as much as I try, it's messy and it frustrates me. I need help to get organized."

You get the idea. Again, take your time on this. I know it's not fun to focus on your weaknesses but think about it this way, not going to the doctor is a way to keep from hearing you have a disease, but you don't win in the end because you have an ailment that bothers you and decreases your quality of life when it doesn't have to be that way. Going to the doctor is the only way you're going to start the treatment to help. This exercise is short term pain for long term gain.

Again, be as honest as you can because trying to cover up weaknesses will keep you from a fabulous life. A fabulous life doesn't require perfection, but it does require honesty so weaknesses can be propped up and mitigated rather than ignored.

When you're finished with this exercise on FABSHEET-GIFT, click here for the next lesson.

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