14. What if I Don't Know What I Want to Do?

"Well, yes Lisa, I'd love to Create My Fabulous life, but I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO!!!" First of all...don't panic!

Hi, I'm Lisa Barry, a radio DJ who's been in pursuit of a fabulous life for 20 years and I'm here to help you get unstuck from an average life and give you the tools and secrets to create a fabulous one.

It's totally normal to have an existential crisis in life. In fact, it's not uncommon to have a few of those throughout your life. Why? Because you're growing and changing. Every year you've got 365 days worth of new experiences that mold and shape the way you see life, what you think is important and who you want to be. If you experience the death of a loved one, you'll grow in your appreciation of life, brevity of time and your legacy. If you experience job loss, you'll grow in your compassion toward others in the same situation. Like they say, tragedy can either make you bitter or better and the fact that you're on this site reading these words tells me you're the latter.

Sometimes all you know is that you're different than you were a decade ago but you're not really sure what you're supposed to do with that. Here's great news! It's super fun trying to figure out what direction to go next. Why? Because you get to go on a mission of self-discovery and learn more about your passions, skills and abilities.

I've always thought it strange we expect an 18 year-old to declare a major and plot out a course for the rest of their life when they've barely even learned to drive! They don't know what they don't know.

You, however, are in a much different place because you have several years, perhaps decades of experience. And that is a major coup for you because now you're making decisions based on proven facts and real life experiences from your own life! You already KNOW what you like. You already know what you're good at. The only thing you don't know, is how those two things fit together to point you to your calling.

Here are a few ideas:

Another way you can explore possible future work is to think about any profession that seems like a job you might enjoy. First, brainstorm a list of ideas on FABSHEET-CALLING. Spend about 20 minutes on that and fill out as many occupations or jobs as appeal to you in the left-hand column. Once you're finished with that list, ask these questions and mark your FABSHEET-CALLING accordingly.

• When you picture in your mind what this job might entail, what is the scenario that's appealing? Describe what you see yourself doing and enjoying.

• Do I know anyone in this profession? Can I take them out for coffee and ask questions about the job? Write down names and phone numbers. If so, set that up for next week.

• Is there an opportunity for me to shadow someone in that job for a few days so I can see what the job actually entails? Write down places and phone numbers, contact names and positions. Set up that contact for next week.

• What skills do I have I can picture myself using that would lend themselves to this line of work?

• What are things people have said to me that support my desire to work in that field? Write down names and what they said. Their comments don't have to be directly tied to a job, but could also be general observations about your temperament, talents, skills, or similar.

• Think about a time you might have been helping someone out, or tried something new, or volunteered, or observed someone working and you had a fleeting thought, wondering if you'd be good at it too. When did each of those happen? Write them out.

• Find someone who's already doing what you want to do and study them. Ask if you can take them out for coffee and spend 30 minutes asking questions. Find out what their journey was to get where they are.

• Get educated about what it takes to do what you're dreaming about. Start with YouTube videos.

• Join membership groups that are in the line of work you're interested in.

• Take courses at a community college.

• Audit college classes.

• Interview people about their professions. Take them out to coffee and tell them you'd like to ask them a few questions about their line of work.

• Find out what the job requirements are for the position you want.

If you have a small amount of money to invest in this process, there are a couple of helpful resources I can suggest.

I also like the Enneagram because it has a more personal focus where the StrengthFinders is more business focused. After taking the online test, you're assigned a number between 1 and 9 with secondary traits called wings. It's very satisfying to feel seen and validated, even in what you might think are your quirky traits, because it's all a part of what makes you, you!

Keep a research binder of everything you discover in this process. Not everything will seem important now, but it may prove to be valuable later so don't throw out any research.

Why do so many people bail at this point? Because it's work. It's a lot easier to just dream and stay stuck than it is to dream and put some sweat-equity into the process. It is hard to pursue something new. Doubts will plague you like a gnat that keeps swirling around your face You've got to keep swatting, keep walking, and keep making progress especially when it stops feeling euphoric. And remember, it's not the destination that's most satisfying, it's the pursuit1 So even when you're working hard to make progress toward your dream, have fun, keep the vision alive. It's the effort you put in that you will actually enjoy; not in the resting and conquering.